Raising children is a full time job. As I’m sitting here trying to write something encouraging for Mother’s Day, I’ve fussed at one child for not doing one of his chores like he was supposed to, reminded another (for the 3rd time) that he needs to brush his teeth, and my daughter is getting ready for her final ballet performance of the weekend. The dishwasher is going, laundry needs to be washed, and would someone please go outside and get the dog before she digs up the yard?? Being a mom never stops, whether it’s your full time job, or you’re trying to balance full-time momming with full-time employment.

Today is also the day that I graduated from nursing school – 19 years ago… It does NOT feel like it was that long ago. In my 19 year career I’ve worked in Neonatal ICU, OB/GYN, Family Practice, Med-Surg, Pain Management, and the OR. I had three children along the way and, like so many of you, I have struggled to balance the demands of raising a family with working full time.

Having children and a having a full-time job is challenging in our society.

We’re expected to perfectly raise our children as if we weren’t employed elsewhere, but we’re expected to perform at work as if we didn’t have children. It’s impossible, to say the least. And it can be overwhelming, exhausting, and leave us feeling guilty and inadequate.

I know being a mom is hard. Balancing family responsibilites with the demands of a career in healthcare is hard. I know the challenges of paying for daycare, and finding babysitters when the daycare is closed. I know what it’s like to have to wonder if you’re going to get written up because this is the 3rd time you’ve had to call in this month. Stomach viruses and fevers don’t wait for a “convenient” time to show up. I know how it feels to have a boss who is caring and understanding, and I know what it’s like to have one who isn’t. And as children get older, trying to get the time off for school performances, awards day, field day, concerts, practices, and ball games is difficult. Oftentimes we have to arrange for another family member to go in our place because we can’t get the time off, we get stuck at work late, or we’re on call and end up doing a case.

This is the reality of the life that we live, and the constant juggling act that we do as moms and healthcare workers. Due to the nature of the work we do in the OR, we’re at work later than we would like some days, and we miss school events, family events, and weekends at times because of the late nights and busy shifts on call.

I know it can feel overwhelming at times, and I know the constant juggling act can leave you exhausted and feeling underappreciated. Many times we feel like we’re drowning from all of the demands placed on us, along with the expectations of perfection thanks to social media. Throw in a careless comment from someone who either doesn’t have to work full-time, or doesn’t understand how hard it is to juggle everything, and we can start to feel really inadequate. 

But please, Momma, remember this…

What other people say really doesn’t matter. They don’t see the whole picture, and they don’t know the whole story. But, there are a lot of us out there that know exactly what it’s like, and we do understand how hard it is.

So thank you for everything that you do, and for how hard that you work every single day to keep everything balanced. Your struggles are real and your hard work is worth it. Your sacrifices may go unnoticed, or may be misunderstood by some, but you’re doing the best you can for your family. And that is ultimately all that matters. You are appreciated. Happy Mother’s Day 🙂

From one working mom to another,

Melanie

Read More:

1. May is Mental Health Awareness Month! Our mental health is as important as our physical health. Read my thoughts here: You Must Make Yourself a Priority
2. There’s an easier way to manage call schedules and sign up for call! Learn more about The OR Call Scheduler here: Managing Call Schedules – There’s a Better Way