Today is a hard day for me. I’m reminded that life is fleeting. That tomorrow is never guaranteed and we never know what day will be our last. And sadly, I’m reminded of Nancy – a sweet coworker who was taken from this world too soon.

March 14, 2018, I was walking out of O.R. 6, about to go clock out for the evening, when I heard someone yelling for help. I turned toward the sound and saw a coworker running up to me, leaning on the arms of a friend, looking very pale and very scared. He told me there had been a shooting, that he and Nancy had been shot, and we immediately ran to get him the help he needed. Thankfully, he survived. But Nancy was not so fortunate, and despite the best efforts of everyone in our O.R. that night, she didn’t make it. She was taken from this world too soon in a senseless act of violence.

Coping with the loss and trauma of that night has been difficult.

I couldn’t eat for days. I didn’t sleep well – there were nights I didn’t sleep at all. And yet, I had to keep going. I had to keep coming back in, day after day, shift after shift, and keep trying to put the pieces back together while creating a new way to function at work. I needed to somehow feel “normal” again, while also finding a way to heal. I’d be lying if I said that it has been easy.

I was not the only one affected that night. Everyone that was affected has dealt with the trauma and the loss in their own way. It’s taken time to heal; time to move on. And yet, while time has gone by, our lives are forever changed because of that night.

In spite of the sadness, we have reasons to be thankful.

Together we celebrate the recovery of our friend who survived. He’s a celebrity whenever he comes to see us. And we’re all so thankful to see how blessed he has been since this tragic event and how far he’s come in his recovery.

And today we remember.

We remember Nancy. Yes, we are are remembering a friend and coworker that we lost, but we also remember the life that she lived. We remember her smile, and her door that was always open. We remember how she would take the time to talk to us, to have us sit in her office and just chat with us about life. And we remember the impact that she had on all of our lives.

Our coworkers become like family. We spend too much time together throughout the shifts, days, weeks, and years for them not to. We rally around them when they experience a tragedy or loss, and our hearts break when death unexpectedly takes them from us.

Our hearts are still broken from that fateful night one year ago, and we still grieve the loss of our friend. But today we can also smile as we remember. We remember the life that she lived, the family that she loved, and the impact she had on all of us.

Melanie 💕

If you, or anyone you know, is experiencing a crisis, please don’t be afraid to ask for help. The National Crisis Hotline is 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You can also call the Crisis Center for your state to talk to someone 24/7.